#LOVE YOU ALLI

[beepboopappreciation]

Is this anything

[clownboybebop]

butch transfem/fem transmasc con artist duo that get into hijinks and fall in love with each other

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[kelsh]

“You were a friend when we needed it, and we won’t forget that. Should you ever need it, you have family in Baldur’s Gate.” - Zevlor

[lavenderleahy]

Yeah yeah yeah tommy's letting buck set the pace but it's he who does it. It's tommy who says I love you first. Buck is scared, a little, or at least overthinking it. He remembers how he rushed moving in with Taylor, trusted Natalia too quickly, loved Abby too intensely. He's waiting for.... well, he's waiting to make sure tommy is in this as much as he is.

And tommy, well tommy is being fucking patient and it's driving him nuts. He wants to be respectful and let buck set the pace, but he knows almost immediately that buck is it for him. At 45, he has a string of failed relationships and a lifetime of regrets behind him. He no longer wants to wait and beat around the bush - they say "when you know, you know," and tommy knows.

But months pass, and nothing. Not even a whisper of those three words tommy so desperately wants to hear. And then his birthday arrives. Tommy walks through the doors to his home after a shift, ready to throw his bag down and relax. He and Buck have plans to celebrate in a few days when their days off align, so tommy isn't planning on celebrating. But when he enters his living room after chucking off his LAFD jacket, he finds Buck, standing and waiting with a huge smile on his face and a balloon in his hand.

"Happy birthday, babe," Buck says as a greeting.

Tommy walks into Buck's arms, accepting the hug he is given. He's flabbergasted and stunned speechless. Buck hands him a giftbag, and he opens it. Inside are some of his favorite things. A box of earl grey tea, a book about military choppers, two cans of lime la croix, a giant snicker's bar, and a bag of seasoned pretzels.

"This isn't your full present yet," Buck explains. "I know we're celebrating later, but I couldn't let today go by without...."

He's unable to finish because Tommy sets down the bag, takes Buck's face in his hands, and kisses him. When he pulls back, he stares at his boyfriend's face in awe. "I love you," he says.

His heart catches in his throat. He didn't mean to say it out loud - the words just slipped out. But his terror is short lived when he notices that Buck is not as freaked out as he is; in fact, he's not freaked out at all.

Buck's face is full of relief, and he smiles. "I love you too," he responds, and pulls him in for another kiss.

[traaansfem]

Shoutout to my trans friendly but extremely autistic grandmother who refuses to use They/Them pronouns unless someone is plural because she's dead set against "they's" as a possessive term and "they was" as a past tense indicator of an action because it reminds her of the accent of a long dead and deeply beloathed coworker who picked up most of his accent from pittsburg. Notably she's fine with They/Them as long as someone is plural, and is entirely willing to refer to someone by name or with another term- IE "that person/creature/girlthing/nonbinary gremlin" upon request.

She's something else. Wrote out a check to my new name for my last birthday because "I don't know your clothing preferences or sizes, and if someone bought me an ill fitting blouse that I loved the look of, or a perfectly fit blouse I despise, I'd be quite put out, and you're set on everything else I know you like."

Notably she wrote it out to my new name, and even months later, I haven't even updated my name with the bank yet, as the speed of bureaucracy is abysmal, so I can't even cash it.

Love you grandma! :3

[constarlations]

Pokémon Timeskip Series: Battle Legend Lyra 🍒🍂

One of the two Johto-Kanto champions, Lyra is best known for her bright and cheery down to earth attitude both on and off the battle field! She likes to travel ALOT you can find her in coffee shops in Kalos or surfing the waves in Alola or just about anywhere with her Fiancé, Silver by her side and never turns down a challenge to a good battle (even if she accidentally sweeps the other person’s team whoops) Her favorite drink is boba tea, her birthday is March 4th, she has a crippling gatcha AND otome addiction, and is 165 cm tall but that’s all for text no one is gonna read aaaaaa-

Drew out my timeskip Lyra due to me wanting to update a few things in regards to her design (can’t believe it’s been almost two years since my timeskip designs HELP) but I hope you enjoy!

Twitter Link

[evanbi-ckley]

I HAVE A THEORY

Walk with me here, okay?

Buck finds out Tommy hates Halloween - doesn't like to dress up, has some sort of childhood trauma that makes him not enjoy it, whatever. So Buck, thinking he could maybe scare his boyfriend or make him laugh, puts a pumpkin on his head. But then he can't get it off :( but at least Tommy's laughing

"Evan what the hell"

"🎃 it's stuck"

"Why did you -"

"🎃 I don't know, Tommy. I thought it would be funny or something!"

Then Buck does a little shimmy

"Evan, you're so great. I love you"

"🎃 hwhat did you say?"

"I said, 'Evan, you're so great,' and then I just stopped talking"

"🎃 you said you love me"

"No I didn't!"

"🎃 YOU LOVE ME"

"SO???"

"🎃 WELL I LOVE YOU TOO"

"Take the pumpkin off so I can kiss you"

"🎃 IT'S STUCK, THOMAS"

[ygamiraito]

"i faint! i go!... AH!" HE IS SO DRAMATIC DAWGG 😭😭😭

[9e111]

an old i have no mouth piece i made for no reason

[catmask]

my sister texted me smthing going on at home thats making me sad but im trying not to think about it and stay whimsical. its fursona friday..... its fursona feidayyyy...

[beepboopappreciation]

I saw this screenshot and had an idea

[mrsducky]

THE NOTEBOOK 2004, dir. Nick Cassavetes

[allyriadayne]

Hook, line and sinker: Larys and Alicent // Larys and Aegon

[andi-o-geyser]

That was a VISCERAL physical reaction. go to horny jail

[still-searching-for-something]

I don't think I can say this with enough emphasis--if you are not Jewish, you don't get to decide what is and is not antisemitic.

There's no ambiguity here. Zero. I am sick and tired of being lectured at by goyim about how, 'oh, ackhtually, your explanation of how my words are antisemitic is off! You're trying to stop the discussion by being inflammatory!'

Or to be told that I am cheapening the term antisemitism, and that people used to react to it before October 7th, but now they're numb to it, which is just what happens you start using serious accusations for political means!

It's... genuinely astonishing to me. I'm consistently amazed by the arrogance, audacity, and disrespect it takes for you guys to lecture Jews on what antisemitism is.

Have any of you goyim experienced antisemitism firsthand? Is it your people who's experienced antisemitism for 3000 years? Is it you who has family members rescued by Schindler? Was it your ancestors who fled from constant, unending pogroms in with nothing but the clothes on their backs? Have you ever had someone tell lies to your friend about you sexually harassing people because you're a Jew? Have you ever had to sit and think whether you should mark down that you're Jewish on a job application? Have you ever felt unsafe and compelled to take off your Star of David because you've been afraid you'd be attacked? Have you ever had to worry about a professor who constantly brings up the war in class marking your assignment down because it talks about Israel being a democracy? Have you ever had the feeling of acid being splashed on your soul when you see antisemitic comments? The ice water rushing down your spine when someone is antisemitic to your face, and you feel the weight of 3 millennia of oppression bearing down on you?

No? Not you?

Then sit your ass down, and frankly, shut the fuck up.